Bond vs. Drax: A Modern Replay

By Ray Adams

frankandarchie@yahoo.com

Fans of Ian Fleming might remember the wonderful bridge scene in his novel Moonraker, in which James Bond gets the better of the evil Hugo Drax. Recently, a rematch of the grandsons of these two famous fictional characters took place in a private club in London. This was the decisive hand:

Jeremiah Bond, the grandson of James Bond, had like his grandfather, joined the British Secret Service. Although there was was no question that Jeremiah’s grandfather was the famous James Bond, there was some debate regarding the identity of his grandmother. Realistically, it could have been any of the Bond girls, and Jeremiah sometimes hinted that the lady might be Pussy Galore, but so far he had failed to decisively name any one of the lovely ladies who had consorted with his grandfather.

Hubert Drax, Hugo Drax’s grandson, was apparently following in his grandfather’s footsteps and had plans to rule the world. Naturally, Jeremiah was out to stop him.

Hubert liked to play bridge in his favorite London Club: The Super Villains’ Den of Iniquity. This club offered a full service bar, scantily dressed waitresses, a 24-hour strip show, and a non-stop high stakes bridge game. Bond needed operating money to thwart Hubert’s evil intentions, so he challenged him to a 200 pound per point bridge game to gain some of the necessary funding.

As it happened, Bond and Drax were almost even when the above hand came up. Fans of the novel Moonraker may remember that James Bond set up a hand where Hugo Drax had more than 30 points, yet due to distribution, James was able to make seven clubs doubled and redoubled. This hand, however, was not set up, but was randomly dealt.

In the auction, four diamonds showed a spade fit and diamond shortness. Hubert and partner will make either four or five spades, depending on whether or not a club is led.

Holding a strong two-suited hand, Jeremiah would not be silenced and North finally joined in when he saw Jeremiah bid five diamonds. His six diamond bid helped Jeremiah visualize a grand slam. So seven diamonds doubled and redoubled became the final contract. West led the ace of spades, ruffed in dummy. Jeremiah led the queen of diamonds and East played the nine. What to do? He thought he heard someone whisper in his ear. It sounded a lot like the voice of Sean Connery. “Play the ace!” He did, and when the king dropped, he soon claimed on a crossruff. Thus, Jeremiah won 532,000 pounds on this hand, enough to wage a successful campaign against Hubert Drax and allow good to triumph over evil once again.

Jeremiah would like to thank Galen Neptune of Kasilof, Alaska for giving him this wonderful hand to play.